From the Trenches: Pushing Through the Doldrums of Winter

Rogue River, Oregon

We're currently slogging through my least favorite time of year. Ever since I was a kid, I've struggled with the cold, dark days of fall and early winter. Once full-on winter hits and there's enough snow on the ground to head out into the mountains and go skiing or snowboarding, life seems to improve dramatically. But suffering through rain and mud, and sitting indoors as the sun sets before 5pm, is one of the worst kinds of misery.

Especially in high school, I struggled mentally and emotionally to cope with the indoor confinement. Along with the removal from the natural world came the soul-numbing indoctrination of public education that kicks off every fall and reaches its mid-year zenith during the shortest days of the year. Without the ability to cope with my stress and anxiety by being physically active the way I wanted to be, more often than not I'd crack under the stress of it all... the only question being, how bad would the breakdown be?

As I've integrated the outdoors more consistently into my everyday life, I've found that I'm better able to manage the mental and emotional strain that comes with this time of year... but it's still there, it's still in the background, threatening to break through. The moderate amount of outdoor exposure, still isn't of the magnitude or caliber that I would prefer to keep myself level and sane.

While getting outside is always well-worth it in the end, this time of year it can feel more like a battle than an escape. Fighting to pedal through 40-degree rain as your fingers and toes go numb doesn't provide quite the same mental and emotional release as spending 10 hours outside in the mountains during the peak of summer.

While the release might not be as great, it's still there and it still works, even if at the time the slowly-deadening toes might seem like sheer suffering. As I'm showering off and feeling the sensation return to my toes in a blaze of needles and fire, the mental load still feels lighter, the satisfaction is still there.

Right here, right now: these are the days when the challenge of being active outside every. single. day. is the hardest, and yet these are the days when we need it the most.

Keep fighting the good fight. It will get better soon.